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My body my choice
I can’t express how difficult it was in every sense of the word. I don’t find the need to go into detail about when or why it happened, because it’s beyond the point. The point is I needed help and I was able to receive help from medical professionals who made an already very difficult situation a little less difficult. A team of professionals who offered support, medical attention, and who helped me understand that whatever decision I took was okay, and that it was my decision and only mine to make.
No woman wants to go through this. It was physically and emotionally very painful. But if you have to go through this for whichever reason, you should at the very least be able to go through it with the support needed to ensure your safety and well-being.
I had to have an abortion. And I am forever grateful for having had the opportunity to do it in a safe way. Thank you to all the people who fought hard years after years to make sure I could get that help when I needed it. Thank you to everyone who is fighting hard today to make sure that every woman has access to medical attention, and that every woman has the right to choose what they do with their bodies.
For a long time I was scared of sharing my story. I felt ashamed of it. Later on I found out that many women around me had gone through similar situations. That it was okay, and that I was not a bad person for protecting me.
That is why I am sharing this today. Because I understand that by banning abortion, they are telling women that it’s not okay. That it’s not their choice to make. Forcing them to find illegal and unsafe ways of doing it, and making them feel as if they are doing something wrong.
My heart goes out to everyone who is struggling today. Sending love and strength to all. We are in this together.
No more wire hangers!
Reversal of Roe vs Wade
The Supreme Court has gone fucking cray
How do guns have more rights than me?
When I’m supposed to live in the land of the free?
My body, my choice
Do I have to scream to have a voice?
Yet their ears are deaf
Especially to those of us on the left
They are so far right
Lacking all sight
Hypocrisy in its finest form
Claiming their bullshit is the norm
Our country is going in reverse
Wanting to control my uterus is completely perverse
If these walls could talk, they’d tell the stories from behind closed doors
Desperate times that led to more
Wire hangers, a thing of the past?
How much longer will this madness last?
I’m indignant, I’m heartbroken, but I’m mostly fucking mad
If you aren’t, then that’s so sad
Gilead may feel like it’s our fate
Yes, it feels like defeat, but it’s never too late
We have to keep fighting, keep pushing back
Since our rights are always under attack
I hate it here, just as much as you
But here is where we are, we have so much to do
The wind horse
Many years ago, in a small Indian village, a young Indian boy lived there and his name was Feathered. The boy had no father or mother and no family. He was the only one in the world; He did not even have a single friend to comfort him. Because one of his legs was injured, he limped, so he never ran, jumped or skipped. The people of the small village turned away from him because of his injured leg; And because it was so sad and lonely, it was sad for them to approach him. They always made sure he had food and drink and a warm place to sleep in it, but kept a distance from him if only they could.
A feathered feather got used to its loneliness and even enjoyed it. He enjoys walking quietly in the great forests, listening to the song of the birds and watching the runaway animals. He was a bad hunter, because because of his injured leg it was difficult for him to chase after animals and sneak quietly.
More than any dream, a feather that is torn apart to run and jump and steal. He dreamed of becoming a great warrior and a successful hunter. He would look enviously at the boys returning from the hunter-gatherer journeys. They looked so tall and sturdy when they carried the hunter on their backs.
In the small village where a feathered feather lived there were few horses, only the great warriors and the glorious hunters had a horse. The boys in the village were only interested in horses. They believed that when they grew up, they too would have a horse. The horse they dreamed of most of all is called the "horse of the wind." The wind horse was the last horse left from a herd of wild horses that lived in the mountains near the small village. All the other horses in the group of the wind horse were captured and tamed, but no one was able to catch the wind horse, even the hunter. The wind horse was the fastest and most gentle horse they had ever seen. I have to do it.
Hay que amar con fulminante ternuracon rabiosa hambre
con una libertad
que de miedo...
My people are magic
some people are magic
my people are magic
I teach people about magic
the energy in your vibes
can make things happen
just think it into the universe
write it down on earthy paper
hell make your own paper
crush bugs and make colors
paint your intentions
become a succubus to feelings
find the emotion in Schopenhauer
and ignore every warning
take every wrong turn
the universe will lead you to this place
destroy the meaning of life
make Derrida proud
name your son Jacques
but don't have a son
be your own sun
be selfish with your energy
find people you vibe with
vibe deep and vibe high
barely remember there is such a thing
as soil beneath your feet
always be in touch with your energy
trust the universe when it says something
today is the day
paint your face with stars
and shine through the day
your smile is blinding with its realness
today is your day
go vibe with your people
An Act of Kindness
There once was a woman living in a homeless shelter with her three kids in New York City. Although she was homeless, no one would ever be able to tell. When she walked into the sporting goods store where she worked every morning, none of her acquaintances could imagine that she was without a permanent roof over her head. Day after day she entered with a positive attitude and a big smile on her face. She worked hard and would not let her situation define her. As time went by, her boss began to realize that she was struggling. After some evaluating, he became determined to help her. Over time, the CEO of the company got involved and gave her the very generous annual raise of $14,000, along with a $250,000 bonus for her to move out of the homeless shelter that same night. The woman, unable to grasp the kindness given to her, thanked her boss for changing her life. There's always someone around you fighting a harder battle. Be kind.
Stronger Than Ever
Malibu, California is home to beautiful beaches, houses and a close-knit community. From one sunny day to the next, a fire sparked and spread, taking control of the town and viciously eating away more than 97,000 acres of land.
Among the residents in Malibu and it's surrounding area forced to evacuate their homes in a hurry, a father and his 3-year-old daughter were required to leave everything behind. Without much warning, they got in their car and began driving away from their community in flames.
The young girl was frightened by the sight of their once beautiful beach town burning with rage. Flames surrounded the roads and the fire crept closer and closer to their car, forcing them to drive urgently through flames and smoke. In an attempt to keep his daughter calm, the father started to sing, "Baby we will be alright" and calmly explained to her that together, they can get through anything.
The father and daughter duo made it out alive with a bond and appreciation stronger than ever.
*The father recorded the now famous video clip, which was broadcasted on the local news. #MalibuStrong
My first kiss of death
The middle school slut. That's what they called me. When youre 12 you remember these things as if they were tattoos on your flesh. If you can't fight them? Join em! Living up to these labels was my favorite hobby. The rebel, the flirt, the fuck up? Okay! Challenge accepted. I pushed it so far that I would ruin every relationship and push every boundary 'till I snapped. And I snapped. All people where prey in this horror story. Beware. Luke Neil April 4th, 6th grade year. He was dating my best friend. But their were expectations to be upheld. Easter break in 3 hours. Holding hands in back of history class. Watching Monty Python. Listening to Monty Python kissing Luke. Only one small step into distruction. Boom. They won.
In search of the truest love...
I find myself constantly thinking that other people deserve things more than me and by believing this I end up attracting these realities. In relationships I always fear that my partner will find someone "better" or "prettier", and that leads to me being constantly paranoid, which leads to the fighting and eventually to the end of the relationship.
In my work I constantly feel that other people get opportunities because they deserve them more than me. That demotivates me and then it makes me not give my best efforts, which eventually results in bad results.
With my friends I always feel that I need to impress them for them to like me, as if just being me is not good enough. By doing so I put myself in situations that I don't want to be in.
Whenever things are good in my life, I always feel that something bad needs to follow, because things "can't be that good for me".
At the essence of all of this is a lack of self love that I have difficulties working on but it causes me to sabotage my own life.
I feel like I accept myself and who I am, but I'm realizing that there is a difference between accepting yourself and LOVING YOURSELF.
I hope that by realizing this, I'm one step closer to getting to know how that feels...
So here is my story: an intro
I never expected to be a full time model.. but I had hoped that one day I would live my dream. That one day my dream would become my reality. Now, I have been modeling for 7 years. I live in Los Angeles, California and I am beyond thankful for the life I have been able to live. Not to say I didn't have my troubles up to this point. So here is my story.
In no order I will come here to write. Write about things I have experienced, learned, or loved. Maybe just write my thoughts which seem to be what I am writing now. Hell, maybe I'll just write down what I did that day.