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Who are we to eachother?
Who are we to eachother?
Existing in a timeless illusion?
What does this all mean?
Purched upon a rooftop
Staring across the Atlantic
Pedestrians walk below
All that comes to mind -
Walking to find me
But of course
You never show
Who are we to eachother?
Birds entangeled in dance -
Feathers wisping away -
Never to dance again below the sunlight?
my turban, and my book
“Go ahead sir”
My head in a stir
On another day, I’d be dead.
Out the gate. Two hours I wait,
Stood up by white light.
Taxi? Hope to catch my date.
Red turban ripped,
Now, Ill put it away,
If she’ll want me to stay.
… I feel stripped.
A Yale grad,
Thought of myself quite a lad,
Turns out my origins sad!
She called out “Waiter,
Order me a cab!”
I thought a girl I had,
But that’s too bad.
I just reached into my Prada,
Steak still on the Tawla,
For my turban,
And my book.
Lower Keys Underwater Music
Every summer I head to the Florida keys for a unique music festival that takes "water music" to a whole new level. Hundreds of divers and snorkelers tune in on a beautiful coral reef in the National Marine Sanctuary in the Florida Keys, where celebrity attendees like the Snorkeling Elvis's are a traditional part of the scene. Selections ranging from "Yellow Submarine" to humpback whale songs are piped underwater for an unforgettable music experience.
I woke up this morning and it was still dark. I couldn't go back to sleep after trying for 30 minutes — so I got out from the bed. Everything was silent. Everyone was quiet. Everywhere was dark. It was incredible. The sun was rising, the city was sleeping. It lasted like twenty minutes and then everyone started to take on the day ahead with voices, light, noise, and life. Back to normal, back to reality.
But for those magical twenty minutes the city was mine.
When you're young and on vacation, sometimes you get too drunk.
I was visiting the Bahamas with my boyfriend, a friend and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend happened to be my boyfriend's brother… So, we were basically sister-in-law's, right? The perfect partners in crime. Well, we were staying on her family's beautiful boat and planning to boat around the islands. However, there was a tropical storm over the course of our vacation, so we weren't allowed to leave the dock. We didn't mind because we were docked at the Atlantis Resort and had a beautiful boat to enjoy.
Upon our anticipated arrival, we unpacked and then began our evening with a cheerful glass of wine over happy hour. As the sunset while sipping our crisp rosé, we felt quite sophisticated. Eventually we moved on to dinner inside the resort and we upgraded to lychee martini's over sushi and great conversation. Before you know it, we were ordering tropical cocktails in the casino. What is even in a tropical cocktail? Rum, peach schnapps, sugary liqueurs… who knows.
As us girls started really enjoying ourselves, for some reason we decided it would be fun to ditch the boys at the craps table and order shots of tequila at the bar. (For the record, the Tequila was NOT my idea and tequila is NOT my friend.) In the following hour or so, we ordered shots for an entire college basketball team and made
great friends, defended each other in a bar fight and made
enemies and finally ended-up at a blackjack table. To my surprise my friend was fantastic at blackjack! Being a focused drunk, I started to worry that with one wrong hand she could lose all her winnings. So, while she drunkenly put all her chips on the table, I was drunkenly sneaking them into my purse, so she could cash in.
Apparently, the boys had become quite worried during our "missing hours" and eventually found us back in the casino. They weren't too happy, but we didn't care in the moment — sorry boys. As they escorted us back to the boat, I sobered-up into "mom mode" worried that my friend had one or two drinks too many. My friend went directly to bed and once the rocky waves hitting the boat shook my stomach, I went straight to the bathroom. (Keep in mind bathrooms on a boat, are quite compact.) This was not one of my finest moments, but admittedly, I fell asleep next to the toilet. YOLO.
In the morning as I awoke, I realized my friend was curled up on the bathroom floor next to me. As we both came to our senses, we realized we were both laying there, cuddling with a towel... naked?! It was awkward for a minute until we broke out in laughter. A very hungover laughter. We now joke that this moment took our friendship to a whole new level. When I asked her why she joined me in the bathroom, she said she came in to check on me and then thought that the cold bathroom tile felt nice.
When you're young and on vacation, sometimes you get too drunk and make memories of a lifetime.
He started reading the Bible when he was very young. The only memory he has from his father is a letter he sent his unborn son from a prison camp in Vietnam. In it, the American soldier stated that he was quite sure he wouldn't make it back home, and the his son should take good care of his mother. He will never know if it was raining that day or if his father was crying, because the ink was blotted and some phrases could barely be made out. However, upon receiving the letter, his mother decided she had to be strong, a single Latino mother in Texas in the late 60's. When her son was born, she decided to name him after his father, and raise a strong independent young man, who started reading the Bible when he was very young. He found solace in the good book, and kept his fathers letter, not only as his only memory of him, but as a beacon to lead a life of virtuousness always taking good care of his mother.
ArEn’T YoU SCaReD?
Since I’ve been moving around quite a bit this month, I’ve been getting the same question everywhere I go: aren’t you scared? Every. single. person. asks me this question.
And I get it…honestly four months ago I was scared shitless. Can I really do this? And as a woman, all alone?
But I’m happy to report that my answer has changed from “yeah, duh, I’m scared you idiot,” to “I was scared.”
So what changed, oh sage one? At the almost-four-month-mark, I’ve learned a little thing or two about the world *clears throat, pushes glasses up nose.*
One, I’ve met really special people that have renewed my hope in the world.
If you are generally cautious about the people you spend time with (especially if you’re a woman), you’ll probably end up naturally gravitating towards people that are genuine and good.
There are more good people in the world than bad people, and that’s something I’m now sure of. It’s a theme that comes through in all my posts (I hope).
Two, I’ve learned that “what if” doesn’t only have to be negative.
Let me explain. I’ve always avoided big solo-adventures because of the “what if’s”: what if it’s not safe, what if there are creeps, what if…. It’s easy to fall into this cycle: you think up a cool adventure, you decide it’s something you’d like to do, but then you think of all the things that can go wrong. Take the Camino, for example. I was super excited about the idea of walking across Spain and doing a religious pilgrimage for over a month. But I started thinking about what could go wrong: I could be walking alone for long stretched, I could meet creepy people, I could feel lonely, etc…
This is a common phenomenon in our society, especially for women: ultra risk-aversion. We’re told absolute worse case scenarios and use those as our metric for risk assessment. It’s absolutely bonkers for any sensible human to make a decision based on the worst outcome. In reality, you have to ~optimize your risk~ (thanks, minor in economics) to have ~good returns~.
There’s always going to be some risk. Yeah, some of my “what ifs” did occur: sometimes I was alone, sometimes I met weird people. But I took steps to keep myself safe and I surrounded myself with a support system. More importantly, good things happened I didn’t necessarily anticipate. There are plenty of positive “what if’s” that we never even consider: what if I meet lifelong friends, what if I push my limits and grow, what if I complete one of the most incredible journeys of my life?
So, going forward, I’m going to try to think of the positive “what if’s” as well. I’ll still consider the negatives; it’s always important to assess risk, especially as a woman alone. But I will never again stop myself because of a few scary thoughts.
This isn’t just a lesson in traveling. It’s definitely a lesson I hope to apply to my life in general. I mean I was scared to do this fellowship because of all the “bad things” that could happen to my career: I’ll be a year behind my peers, I won’t start earning money, blah blah blah.
Yeah, those are certainly risks, negative “what if’s.” But there are also rewards: I know myself better, I have a deeper faith life, I have had time to think about my priorities and my aspirations. Overall, I feel more ready to be a “functioning adult” (whatever the hell that means…but I feel more ready, if that makes any sense). Aaaaand I’m having a ton of fun.
Oh Christmas Tree
Hundreds of millions of people each year come to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, but most don't know how this tradition began.
SMALL ROOTS On Christmas Eve 1931, a group of construction workers bought a 20-foot fir tree. It was adorned with homemade decorations. Two years later in 1933, 30 Rockefeller Plaza opened and with it the first official Christmas tree was displayed with just 700 lights. The custom continued through the Great Depression. During World War II, trees weren't lit to comply with blackout regulations, but they were decorated in patriotic red, white and blue. In 1949, the tree was painted silver as if to appear draped in snow. AN ANNUAL TRADITION The first tree lighting ceremony was televised in 1951 on the "Kate SmithShow." Since then, famous celebrities and politicians have hosted the special each year. Though the tree is the main attraction, there are lots of other holiday fixtures around the plaza to see. The dozen wired angels first appeared in 1969. This year (2018), a new, 900-pound Swarovski Star is debuting, which contains three million crystals along 70 triangular spikes.Each year at the close of the season the tree is taken down and its wood is donated to the Habitat for Humanity foundation where it is used to build homes for those in need.
Day 19 - Still disconnected but reflecting
So today I still felt like I wanted to be disconnected. When yesterday evening I checked my schedule and saw I had the day off work, made me very happy.
I took this day to meditation, reflect on what I want to do during the last month of 2021. OMG December is almost around the corner. It is mind blowing how fast time has passed by.
Bye see you tomorrow 💖
The parking lot
That night part of my soul was left in that dark empty parking lot. The night they confessed their betrayal. The words that came out of his mouth, that he had messed around with my sister and my sister sitting in the back seat, face covered with her hoodie , crying. She said not one word, I knew she was sorry but she was scared, I could hear in her cry that she was overcomed by fear. She thought I would lash out , she thought I would hurt her but no how could I? I love her, you don’t hurt what you love and I guess that’s a lesson she had yet to learn. I had so many questions but was was afraid of what I would hear so I didn’t ask. I let out a big cry, I caught my breath and I threw them out of my life that night. Nothing was ever the same again.