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Love
A Letter To My Ex
  • heartbreak
Dear XXVI, More than 2 years have gone by since we officially broke up. I’m looking through your instagram trying to see how you’ve been doing. I see, you’ve finally added a profile picture after a long time of not having one. That must be a sign that you’re doing great now. We’ll honestly to me, it looks like you’ve always been great since the break up. It seems like you didn’t have a hard time moving on AT ALL. Me on the other hand, still haven’t completely moved on after 2 years. Funny isn’t it. How unfair that I’m the only one hurting. Not that I want you to get hurt, but I’m hoping that you miss me and think about me at least.Oh by the way you’re not the only one I’m stalking. I also keep looking at your lil boo’s profile page just trying to see if you guys are still together or whatever. Unfortunately, it seems like you still have connections with her and you like all her stuffs. You’re not the type of person who like other people’s stuffs. So when you like a post from a person, that means, that person really do matter. Every time I would think about how you’re still with that girl, it kills me. IT FUCKING KILLS ME(excuse my language). My body would just suddenly feel numb and cold; my heart would feel like it has stopped beating. And for the nth time, I would ask myself, “Why does it have to be her? Why can’t it be me?” I never thought I would use those cliche lines from the movies but that’s actually how it goes when you get your heart broken and replaced by someone else. I tried forgetting about you and I’m still trying to. I tried talking to other girls and boys as well, but it was different. I also almost officially dated this girl, she’s amazing, sweet, kind and understanding but in the end, it didn’t really work out. I ended it because I’m still in love with you. I thought I would learn to love somebody else, if I just give it enough time and effort. Believe me, I tried so hard. Turns out I was wrong. I can’t force myself to love someone else. How stupid can that be. I wonder if you’re still happy with her. The last time I remember you said you were happy with her. I still do hope you are, because if not, then all my pain wouldn’t be worth it in the end. All I want is the best for you. If you’re happy with her, then that’s all that matters. In the end, all I hope for is your happiness. And that’ll never change.Hopefully I can find my happiness too and be able to move on from you, from us, from my past. I still want to thank you for the 7 years we were together. I still think those are my happiest years so far and you my love, was one of my greatest treasures in life. I loved you, I love you now, and I have no idea how long am I still gonna be in love with you. -Better leave this blankI know this will never reach you but that’s okay. There are things that are better left unspoken. (I’m deadass crying while writing this.)
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