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Sobriety: 60 Days by ashleymichelle

There was a point in time when 60 days seemed a lot harder than climbing Mount Everest. I couldn’t fathom having a clean body…a clean mind. I didn’t think it was going to be possible to establish distance between me and my excuses. Especially when the excuses are endless. [any reason to check out – any reason to escape] In the film ‘Beautiful Boy’ Nic’s sponsor tells him: “One step at a time. Congratulations, welcome to the real world.” And Nic says: “Oh I don’t want to live in the real world. I’m so sick of living in it.” At the core of everything this honestly sums up what it feels like to be newly sober. No more chemical rainbows. No more chasing illusions that only last a couple hours. No more never ending chases. It’s only me and it makes me cringe to write that, to see that, and to feel that. ...But I sat in a meeting tonight and received a 60 day chip. Complete strangers cheered me on as I walked up to take it in my shaking hands. They weren’t really strangers at all. This was my first in-person meeting off of Zoom since rehab. I didn’t want to go at first, I was uncomfortable. I shook some hands. I got some numbers. I haven’t let go of the chip since they handed it to me. “I heard a message this morning: you can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to be happy.“