StoryPlace

HS Thoughts pt. 1 by souleehoney

You know what I’ve been thinking? I live two completely different lives. One here at my moms house and another at my dads. Whenever I come back to my moms, I’m reminded of someone who used to visit. I feel like I’ve been placed back a couple steps when I stay at my moms. I’m not sure I can handle staying often because it reminds me too much. I’m grateful for all those small amount of times I had there but unfortunately I cannot say the name of the person that I shared them with. I really wish I could have one more dance, but this pain will only make me stronger. Is it really true? Does time truly heal? Does letting time pass, allow you to move on? Apparently it’s true so some. I believe that it in some way, it puts the feelings and memories to sleep. I’ve put it to the test. This past week I’ve felt stuck. Almost frozen. For a few years, I learned to keep quiet. Sadly, I continue to keep quiet. Now that I look back, it has been a fairly quick couple of years, but that’s how I know, that these feelings were so strong. I needed to forget. So I tried. And I thought that I succeeded, of course, it worked for months maybe a year. Until, the memories were awakened again.. I saw this person again. I tried really hard to keep cool. Now I find myself writing to keep calm. So it’s been hard and it’s only been a week since I last saw them. I’m at my dads house. I feel safer here, I can keep my secrets well hidden here. I don’t know how much longer this will eat me up, but I do have some kind of hope. Summers almost here so I’ll continue writing until the times right. Until I’m ready to let go. *I was still in HS when I wrote this. I cringed a bit typing this out buuut I’m happy to say that now more than ever, I believe in all that time can do for us. :) *